2E Design Journal #1...
- Charles Lewis
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2E Design Journal #1...
...has been posted on the blog. Read it here.
Feel free to talk amongst yourselves. Better yet, talk about it here.
Feel free to talk amongst yourselves. Better yet, talk about it here.
'Fear God and dread nought'
Coat of Arms motto of Baron Fisher, of Kilverstone
Coat of Arms motto of Baron Fisher, of Kilverstone
- Tyrel Lohr
- Vice Admiral
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- Charles Lewis
- Rear Admiral
- Posts: 937
- Joined: Thu Oct 04, 2007 3:58 am
- Location: Des Moines, IA
- Contact:
- Tyrel Lohr
- Vice Admiral
- Posts: 1466
- Joined: Thu Oct 04, 2007 3:48 am
- Location: Lusk, WY
- Contact:
Having found this on another board, I think it fits:
ARKHAM, MA—Arguing that students should return to the fundamentals taught in the Pnakotic Manuscripts and the Necronomicon in order to develop the skills they need to be driven to the very edge of sanity, Arkham school board member Charles West continued to advance his pro-madness agenda at the district’s monthly meeting Tuesday.
“Fools!” said West, his clenched fist striking the lectern before him. “We must prepare today’s youth for a world whose terrors are etched upon ancient clay tablets recounting the fever-dreams of the other gods—not fill their heads with such trivia as math and English. Our graduates need to know about those who lie beneath the earth, waiting until the stars align so they can return to their rightful place as our masters and wage war against the Elder Things and the shoggoths!”
The controversial school board member reportedly interrupted a heated discussion about adding fresh fruit to school lunches in order to bring his motion to the table. With the aid of a flip chart, West laid out his six-point plan for increased madness, which included field trips to the medieval metaphysics department at Miskatonic University, instruction in the incantations of Yog-Sothoth, and a walkathon sponsored by local businesses to raise money for the freshman basketball program. “Our schools are orderly, sanitary places where students dwell in blissful ignorance of the chaos that awaits,” West said. “Should our facilities be repaired? No, they must be razed to the ground and rebuilt in the image of the Cyclopean dwellings of the Elder Gods, the very geometry of which will drive them to be possessed by visions of the realms beyond.”
West has served on the school board since 1997, when he defeated 89-year-old incumbent Doris Pesce by promising to enforce dress codes and refer repeat disciplinary cases to the three-lobed burning eye. He has run unopposed ever since.
“Charles sure likes to bang on that madness drum,” fellow school board member Danielle Kolker said. “I’m not totally sold on his plan to let gibbering, half-formed creatures dripping with ichor feed off the flesh and fear of our students. But he is always on time to help set up for our spaghetti suppers, and his bake sale goods are among the most popular.”
“I must admit, he’s very convincing,” Kolker added.
West’s previous failed proposals include requiring the high school band to perform the tuneless flute songs of the blind idiot god Azathoth and offering art students instruction in the carving of morbid and obscene fetishes from otherworldly media.
Several parents attending the meeting were not impressed by West’s outburst.
“Last month, he wanted us to change the high school’s motto from ‘Many Kinds of Excellence’ to ‘Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn,’” PTA member Cathy Perry said. “I asked if it was Latin, and he said that it was the eldritch tongue of Shub- Niggurath, the Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young. I don’t know from eldritch tongues, but I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.”
“We already changed the name of the school from Abraham Lincoln High to Nyalrothotep Academy,” Perry added. “What more does he want?”
Immediately before the vote on his motion, which was defeated eight to one, West gave his final remarks, arguing that the children are our future and that it’s the school board’s obligation to make sure they are fully versed in the unspeakable horrors still to come.
Now there's a leader you can believe in! Someone who will chant with you into the wee hours of the morning. Someone who will help you keep the shoggoth suitably damp with the hand mister until you can get it from the summoning location to the ceremonial pool. Someone who (to keep this vaguely on topic) supports an improved VBAM system. Someone who can help your children make the most of their more horrible tomorrow.Rainer wrote:Having found this on another board, I think it fits:
ARKHAM, MA—Arguing that students should return to the fundamentals taught in the Pnakotic Manuscripts and the Necronomicon in order to develop the skills they need to be driven to the very edge of sanity, Arkham school board member Charles West continued to advance his pro-madness agenda at the district’s monthly meeting Tuesday.
....
Immediately before the vote on his motion, which was defeated eight to one, West gave his final remarks, arguing that the children are our future and that it’s the school board’s obligation to make sure they are fully versed in the unspeakable horrors still to come.
It's a shame he can't get more support.
No man is wise enough by himself.
- Plautus
- Plautus
- Charles Lewis
- Rear Admiral
- Posts: 937
- Joined: Thu Oct 04, 2007 3:58 am
- Location: Des Moines, IA
- Contact:
- Tyrel Lohr
- Vice Admiral
- Posts: 1466
- Joined: Thu Oct 04, 2007 3:48 am
- Location: Lusk, WY
- Contact:
Oh, don't worry, Charlie -- I have all of the essential saltes, and know the words that summon the Key and the Gate to our plane. If things get too dour, we can always unmake you and remake you using the infernal knowledge passed on to me by the blasphemous Disciples of Yig.Charles Lewis wrote:Hehe...I seem to have recovered <twitch> fairly well. <blink, blink>
Tyrel is driving this project, so as long as he is compis mentis we'll be fine.
As for 2E, they say you can't put lipstick on a pig -- but I have found that you can most certainly dress a shoggoth up in a Dolly Parton wig and a pair of go-go boots. That, my good sirs, is Second Edition!
-Tyrel
[i]"Touch not the pylons, for they are the messengers!"[/i]
Dang it.Tyrel Lohr wrote: As for 2E, they say you can't put lipstick on a pig -- but I have found that you can most certainly dress a shoggoth up in a Dolly Parton wig and a pair of go-go boots. That, my good sirs, is Second Edition!
-Tyrel
Now I have to buy 2 copies.
No man is wise enough by himself.
- Plautus
- Plautus